Changing Roles: Blurry Lines II

What an interesting time the three of us had yesterday afternoon. Hoover and mom were standing inside the entry way as I came out of our side of the house. They both looked at me and said, "Camey? You need a jacket. A light one will do." Then I realized, I wasn't dressed up enough for them. Over the years, I've become more and more casual. And yet, as they both reminded me, "Most older adults dress up to go to the doctor." Hoover is seventy-nine... She is sixty-five. So, a jacket I got.....

As we were getting into his car, hubby pulled up in the driveway. Hoover yelled out, "Hey D. I'm stealing all your women." We just laughed. Then, as he was getting into the car, my mom said, "Ask him if I have a curfew." He yelled back out as hubby hit the front door... "Do they have a curfew?" Hubby replied back, "Only Miss A." Again, laughter erupted.... Miss A of course is my mom - not me.....

As we were backing out of the drive.... mom said, "I know D. was a little frustrated with me this morning about what time we needed to leave. But I know he did not want me to get there so early that I had too much time to really fret. I know he loves me dearly." I smiled deeply. She took the time he said was needed and added thirty minutes for her version of traffic... which is more than three cars.

As mom and I were in with the doctor..... he spoke very plainly to her. Very direct. He said, "No. You do not understand. You are not accepting this." And, of course, I then had to say to her, "Mom? You cannot drive. If you do, you could not only get a ticket but also lose your license." Now, granted... she does not drive but maybe a total of 3 miles a week.... if that.... But since she has ventured out of the highly secure gated community here more recently... very direct talk was needed. Her first surgery is not until the 14th of January... the second being the 4th of February. Sometimes grace and mercy does include very direct talk.

As we went into another room for more tests... as she sat in the chair, she said, "I realize I'm being really difficult. I'm not meaning to be.. But I know I am." The woman sitting beside her shook her head and then I said, "Hey mom? I've got a witness to you saying that." We just busted out laughing and so did the woman... Sometimes laughter comes in the midst of difficult moments.

When we left his office... mom wanted ice cream. Nothing new there.... lol So, the three of us went to Braum's. As we sat in the booth, Hoover insisted we share his sundae... so we did... I'm not a fan of peanut butter and chocolate sundaes but since he bought me a spoon too.... Mom kept talking about what the doctor said. She had on a pair of glasses that looked like she had just been to a 3D movie! Of course, more laughter was had in the midst of her really wanting to stay mad and cry. She does not like to wear glasses. Period. She is greatly bothered by not being able to wear her contacts any more... And by the fact that she does indeed have to have surgeries only old people need even though she refers to herself as an "older person" all the time in her conversations with hubby, myself, and the boys especially.

We talked more a long the way home about what the doctor had said and what all was discussed. Of course, she did ask the doctor if he had talked with her son-in-law... Hubby does talk very direct with her when needed. That is a part of changing roles... He is not just her son-in-law... he is also the man of the house now even though it is still hers. It is so tender how much he loves her and she him..... As she has said, "I even have my own pastor living with me." Life... can be weird...

Changing roles... at times the lines are blurry... And yet, with His guidance... we can know that we are where He wants us to be....