We've officially entered the two year countdown with the end of August happening. I was asked to share where I am with the whole grieving process of saying goodbye to daddy and learning to live without him being here in the flesh. So, here I go....
Grief is one of the necessary emotions and processes of life. I do consider to have been incredibly blessed by starting the process before we ever moved in with my parents. For the man who had been my dad in my childhood and teenage years would have never needed his daughter and son-in-law and three grandsons to take care of him. The man in May of 2005 did without question even though he did numerous times - question it that is.... until he and God got it all straightened out and he was able to accept it and no longer be mad at me/us.
My daddy and I were exceedingly close. We shared the same passion for serving God and serving others. And even in his dealing with Parkinson's and Diabetes - that did not change. It just made it more interesting at times. There were times when we simply had to laugh even though others thought it might have been inappropriate to do so. That's what happens when you had one who was healed and one who was ill. Of course - he got the ultimate healing.
At the end of August of 2006 is when daddy had his heart attack and spent the next two months in such a battle before winning the race on November 1st. What we learned about God, ourselves, and life and living during those two months - I would not change for the world... not even with the pain that was involved. Funny how God can work like that if we allow Him to.
We're still getting phone calls for daddy even after all this time. And I must confess - that can be hard and hit me/us when we're least expecting it. Yesterday there were 2 of them. One of which we've repeatedly asked for his name to be taken off their list.... It gets a little frustrating as well. If he had just been out playing golf and missed their call - I could understand. But deceased is deceased. It is the ultimate change of addresses.
One of the things that I/we do deal with on a daily basis is the fact that because of how loved daddy was and how God used him to touch others right where they were.... we are not in the grieving process alone as a family. On any given day - he is talked about and remembered... and I'm often called or sought out in person to be a support for that individual - whether it's just listening, praying with or giving that hug I promised him I would give on his behalf and mine.
It is no secret that I loved my daddy dearly. He wasn't just my dad, father in law/friend/dad to my hubby, and amazing grandpa to our three sons...... he was a very dear friend... but more than that.... he was my brother in Christ... and still is. Taking care of daddy will always be remembered with fondness even with the many tears that were cried and still are at times. Tears are a necessary part of my grief and my joy in Christ and salvation that only comes through Him.
So, that's where I am today. And I am good with it. For like I said... grief is one of those necessary emotions and processes of life. It should not be swept under the rug, or put on a shelf, or ignored. And it can reap untold benefits such as helping others who are dealing with their own grief. We were not meant to walk through life's moments alone.
It does, however, go back to God.
It always goes back to God.
For that is the most important relationship any one can ever have.
I could still have my daddy here and not have that relationship with God.
And my daddy could not save me. That's not what dads are for or moms. (nor daughters their dads.)
That's why Jesus came, lived, died and rose again conquering death.
Jesus is the Only Savior....
And while I loved my daddy and he loved me.......
There is no love that compares to that of my Real Father - God.
His love is sufficient. It is complete.
He is the Only One worthy of Worship and Praise....
Even in grieving a man I knew as daddy.
Have a story about grief to share? Feel free to do so...
2 days ago