Monday, November 12, 2007

Marriage: It Takes More Than Two

So..... I start this with a confession. Normally, hubby/Brother G, is gone on Mondays. I had been planning on blogging on this subject today for a couple of weeks now. He didn't leave home until just a little bit ago. Apparently, I've been walking around with a certain kind of smile on my face all day. He kept calling me out on it. He knows I am up to something. What, he doesn't know.... It is no coincidence that I am writing on this subject today and he is doing what he is doing tonight.... preaching to pastors/preachers on the subject of marriage. As I sit here at his computer listening to his music and having lifted him up in prayer, I am filled with joy.

Earlier, he gave me his sermon outline to read. I had to laugh. If you remember back in the post on "Spiritual Intimacy," I referenced a certain commercial. He has the same reference as part of his sermon. And I think that goes to show the validity of this post even more so. He and I are on the same page. That doesn't necessarily happen because of the two of us.... but because of the three. We are not in this marriage just as a husband and a wife; nor as a man and woman alone.

As with the premise behind "Spiritual Intimacy," I write about marriage and he preaches. One thing we've learned over our many years together, marriage is not just about us. It cannot fully be all God intends for it to be when we're in it for ourselves. The world tells us that if we're not happy 24/7, and/or if our spouse is not meeting all our needs/wants, it's okay for us to just leave. Yet, one thing we know for certain is that it is humanly impossible for any one person to meet all our needs. They were not intended to do so in the first place. Marriage should be based on the foundation of God and then built with His guiding hand every single day, not just on Sunday or before chowing down at the table or at some holiday.

One thing that can help couples become closer in their marriage is praying together. It definitely works for us. They don't have to be fancy, formal, long prayers. Just prayers that speak from the heart and are open to the fact that God truly knows what is best for us even when we can't always see tomorrow or the next moment. In understanding better what is best for us also comes the fact that it may and probably will include trials and storms.... It is being found faithful to looking to Him through the thick and thin... and then to each other. His love is what truly binds two hearts together and intertwines them as one.

Marriage is made even more complicated when a child or children are involved. One reason why so many marriages are in trouble today is that the couple has forgotten to be a couple. They've become so engrossed in being "mom" or "dad" or "the parents" that they don't make time to stay connected like they were before. Dating each other is vital to having a healthy marriage. Does that mean that the dates have to be expensive and the two of you get all dolled up or dressed to the nines? Nah. Dates can be simply going out for coffee, grabbing a bite to eat, sitting and talking without any interruptions. We had a great date just this past Saturday night. We went to a matinee movie, had dinner and then got coffee. We were home by 8:30 p.m. And yet, that date spoke volumes to our children about their parents and our marriage. We aim for at least one date a week.

Marriage should be a triangle with God as the center top point.

If you're married? How's it going this moment? Where is God in it? And where are you with God?

More to come on this subject. Stay tuned.

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