Over the course of the last few months especially, things have been somewhat confusing. Times of transition where there are no easy answers... except are there? Times where God requires more of me than ever before honestly....
Warning: The following is raw.
Austin and I have had some real in-depth conversations the last 24 hours. On Saturday night, we drove through a city where my past came calling loud and clear. On Sunday night, I shared more with Austin about some of the times I wasn't following God like I should have been. And about the consequences of those actions on my part. He literally called me out about it. Asked why hasn't he heard about that before now - he's sixteen remember? And why others in our student ministry haven't heard about it from me... Like with about the fact that his mother had sex as a teen.... he was mad at me for a bit and then told me to use those experiences to help others. "It might help others to know why you have the position about drinking alcohol that you do." Ouch. My halo fell down again.
Then, this morning, as he was getting ready to go to work at the little store in our highly secure gated community, Austin surprised me with some news. He said, "Mom? I've told my Halo group that I will no longer be able to be their leader." He said that he did that because he was responding to what God told him. He has too much going on right now that is requiring his attention. Something had to give.... it was his Christian Halo clan ministry... His time online is virtually next to nothing now. What kind of leader could he be given that? He's an even better leader now that he has stepped down... then again I'm sort of biased aren't I?
Yesterday, someone said to me, "Camey? You posted about another church knocking at the door. You shouldn't do that kind of thing." Well, frankly.... I/we do not see our current church and any other church that is knocking at our door in competition with each other. We will serve with our current church with joy and with His strength and love until He completely closes that door.... if He even does at all.... One thing He continues to speak to our souls about is being about His kingdom.... That is wherever we may go.... may be.... it does not have to be in a physical church building at all... or with a particular group of people. And remember? We live in a relatively small town any way....
If we truly are His.... listening and responding to Him should be as natural as rain even if it at times it feels more like pulling teeth. There are times when things are confusing... I'm not going to try to pretend that's not the case. And yet, there is peace that when we listen to and respond to Him.... even if we are not sure what colors the walls are being painted..... the foundation is secure.
Are you listening and responding to God this moment?
2 hours ago