Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Now.

The moments have been rather intense lately. The Spiritual Warfare has picked back up again. And while I am not at liberty to share fully.... I can share this:

It does not happen often, but last night - I was in a sour mood. I'm not talking a little sour. Spit it out of your mouth because it tastes so gross - sour. As Austin and I were sitting in the car talking - he said to me, "Mom? Do you really want to have that attitude?" Ouch. He was right. I was wanting to be sour. Sting.........

After examining my attitude - it was clear - the problem was not the other individuals involved or even the situations themselves. It was me. Serious OUCH!

This morning, Brother G's car had a flat. Much to my surprise, he wanted me to drive instead of him to the physical church building. His motive? He wanted to read to me. And as I drove - he read aloud to his bride. It was Alive. It breathed. Talk about just what I needed to hear. He was convinced that my sour attitude from last night was still there to some degree this morning. And dang it, he was right.

As I got out of the car and started walking up to the building... Scriptures started flooding my mind.... and heart. I just had to laugh when asked if I had a word... from The Word.. I could share for our Wednesday staff meeting. Tears came down my face as I shared just a bit of what's been going on lately. And as usual when I let Holy Spirit have free reign - I do not remember one word I said other than Scriptures I read aloud. The very same ones that had come flooding my mind and heart earlier. (And yes, to those who have asked - I miss teaching the Tuesday class. Some of the most freeing times. Still cracks me up there's a teacher inside. Oh, that's soooo God! Those poor college/career students now on Sunday mornings.)

Ministry can be a beast at times as can just life in general. One thing I've found time and time again - you can choose to let it be hairy and run wild... or you can tame it... even if you might have a few split ends like my hair does now. And given how long it is.... what should I expect? Haven't decided yet on the shoulder length or just a couple of inches. The jury is still out.

The testing has been two fold:

1) To see if I could hold my tongue.

2) If I could hold firm and not be moved.

Brother G did have to buy a new tire. And.......

Funny enough? The Spiritual Warfare is still thick and yet, the joy totally outweighs it.

6 comments:

M. Steve Heartsill said...

Camey,

Thanks for sharing your heart and your struggle. Or, should I say, struggles. You are so far from perfect with that sour attitude and difficulty in holding your tongue. Boy, am I glad I never struggle in life and have my life all together and perfected!

Well, as you can tell, maybe I struggle with lying! :)

These life lessons are so hard to learn and they always seem to come with so much pain. I remember as a child going through what my parents called "Growing Pains." My knees hurt, my joints ached. I often cried myself to sleep at night because of the pain.

As an adult, I've cried myself to sleep a few times, knowing that I still struggle with growing pains.

But, a lesson I've learned, after these growing pains come great growth! So, in the days ahead, I will wait with anticipation to see the growth God brings into your life! And, in your walk with Him.

Prayers are regularly said for you and yours!

MSH

justanotherminute said...

Your post makes me think of the book of James... just passing along...

Camey said...

Steve,

Appreciate you being transparent about crying. Real man stuff there. No, seriously.

Keep the prayers coming.. Right back at you as well.

Camey said...

Michael,

Thanks for coming by. James is a book I know very well. One of my favorite to teach and share with others.

And you were just prayed for again.

Bill (cycleguy) said...

Camey,

Decided to visit and comment this time. (Don't you feel blessed?) Ditto on Steve's post. There have been times I have hurt so bad that sometimes not even crying has helped. I ached so badly for God's touch. i curled up in a fetal position I hurt so bad. Some of the pain was my own doing. Some of it may have been inflicted by another. But the pain is real nonetheless. Thanks for the honesty but don't you just hate it when the young 'uns teach us? :)

Camey said...

Bill,

Yes, actually I do. Thank you for your honesty as well as the thoughts/visit.

And let me tell you... our three sons teach me lessons daily! :)

Thanks again..