Tuesday, August 18, 2009

When Faith Knocks: The State of the I Address

I've tried a couple of different times to start this note. The words were there, but the fingers weren't moving. My hubby just walked in the room, we talked, and out he went again heading out the front door to take care of one of his properties. It is his largest property, and therefore, takes the most time. The owners are hardly ever there as they live mostly in Florida these days instead of Texas. It is with laughter, a deep smile, a few tears shed and conviction that I write this. Funny how that can happen.

Back in May, my hubby was in Illinois for a few days - preaching, ministering, and such.. Before he left I knew that trip was going to be different for him, myself, and our family. During his time there, the potential to plant a new church was laid at our feet. My hubby was encouraged in ways that neither of us were expecting. Again, I'm smiling deeply at the thought of it all. I am thankful beyond words for his time there.

In July, we went on a mission trip together as a family with our current church. While there, our hearts were stirred for the people. The faces are still etched on our hearts and no doubt will remain in some form or fashion over the years. As I've shared before, I knew God was going to speak to my husband while in the mountains. What I wasn't expecting was for Him to speak so clearly to me while in the water on a Thursday. I heard clearly to get out of the boat and get in the water. I did. And while in the midst of being freezing cold, I heard, "You'll go to IL or ID, but what about ?, Texas?" The very place where hubby had received a phone call from on a mountain in Utah while heading to Idaho.

Upon returning from Idaho, I have talked with a few friends from all over the world about the "in 'I' states" that were showing themselves as the possible next place for our family to go and serve. I knew we were staying in the USA physically.. but truthfully - I thought we were leaving Texas. There are close friends also in other states where I could easily see our family going. Funny how God used a couple of them in particular to speak to me directly without them even realizing they were. Oh, sure.. they were saying my name in correlation to what they were saying, but their intent to some degree was different. I am ever so thankful for their friendships and life's moments. I am also grateful for how they recognize God's love is most important and pour it freely in return to this silly woman.

Music is something that is close to my heart. As weird as it may sound to some, there are few groups out there in various genres that my sons and I both like. Austin posted a status the other day on facebook that was a reference to a song by one such group. I haven't been able to get that song out of my head for long. In fact, I'm listening to it now. I am always grateful when God uses one of my sons to help teach me a lesson. Funny enough? All three of them have been great teachers here lately in ways they may not even realize.

When we were visiting hubby's sister and her family a few weeks ago, I studied my hubby even harder than normal.. which is saying a lot.. (insert laughter here pls?). We went to my sister-in-love's church to worship with her and her family. Afterwards, we went to his parents' home in another city close by. They weren't there as they were in Colorado.. again with the mountains. I listened intently as my hubby relayed a story about a pastor he heard speak one day. Again, I heard God whispering to me. "Keep listening as I am preparing your heart & mind, Camey. You will go where you are being sent."

Yesterday, we started the daunting task of cleaning, throwing away, giving away, and organizing in anticipation of moving. Between what is going on with the five of us - there is also my mother getting married. This house which my parents built in 1998 will be put on the market shortly after that. Last night when her and Hoover returned from being out for a few hours, we discussed openly about all that is taking place these days. Again, clearly heard Him whisper to me. I'll let that one stay between my Real Father and I.

As I've shared more openly in face to face situations about where we are going in Texas - each time my heart has been more and more tendered. As hubby and I have prayed over these last few months especially... the last few days even... my heart is more tendered. For I say that I follow Jesus.. and I will... wherever He sends us. It is not just about believing I do.. it is also about doing.. Actions/words..

So, I've realized that while it was incredibly flattering to have the other opportunities presented to us.. I don't want to be any where God does not intend for us to be. Whether that is in G-town or in a state that starts with an "I" or a "C" or an "F".. While there is grief to be had and gone through in leaving here... there is also sheer joy that comes from Him and His love alone. It is worth leaving those you have taken in your heart and life's moments to go love and serve others. Not because of what we do.. but because of who He is, what He has done and will do.

I can say without reservation or any doubt that I look forward to the future come whatever may. For in life's moments are just glimpses of who He is and the amazing love and grace He has to offer and gives to even such a silly woman as I. I was born in a city and lived in various ones until 2005. That does not mean it is always best for me to live in a city.

How is your state of "I"??

Does it need to be address?

How is God addressing you in ways you may not want to hear but know are right?

As always, dear reader, you've been prayed for. And it was more dangerous than ever.

Much love,

PS: I write first and then edit... so if you read this more than once.. you may notice a difference here or there..

PSS: My desk which I am currently sitting at is about to be tackled.. Apparently, I've let it go for some time. (read: that's an understatement.)

1 comment:

Bill (cycleguy) said...

Camey: thanks once again for the open heart with which you have shared. As i was reading I went back to something I make a distinction about: the difference between being a Christian and a Christ-follower. I know some roll their eyes at me (even Jo) but I see it as real. Anyone can call themselves a Christian but not everyone is a Christ-follower, i.e. one who will say "i will go wherever, whenever you send me." I will continue praying dangerous prayers for you and the family as you follow Him.