Now.

The moments have been rather intense lately. The Spiritual Warfare has picked back up again. And while I am not at liberty to share fully.... I can share this:

It does not happen often, but last night - I was in a sour mood. I'm not talking a little sour. Spit it out of your mouth because it tastes so gross - sour. As Austin and I were sitting in the car talking - he said to me, "Mom? Do you really want to have that attitude?" Ouch. He was right. I was wanting to be sour. Sting.........

After examining my attitude - it was clear - the problem was not the other individuals involved or even the situations themselves. It was me. Serious OUCH!

This morning, Brother G's car had a flat. Much to my surprise, he wanted me to drive instead of him to the physical church building. His motive? He wanted to read to me. And as I drove - he read aloud to his bride. It was Alive. It breathed. Talk about just what I needed to hear. He was convinced that my sour attitude from last night was still there to some degree this morning. And dang it, he was right.

As I got out of the car and started walking up to the building... Scriptures started flooding my mind.... and heart. I just had to laugh when asked if I had a word... from The Word.. I could share for our Wednesday staff meeting. Tears came down my face as I shared just a bit of what's been going on lately. And as usual when I let Holy Spirit have free reign - I do not remember one word I said other than Scriptures I read aloud. The very same ones that had come flooding my mind and heart earlier. (And yes, to those who have asked - I miss teaching the Tuesday class. Some of the most freeing times. Still cracks me up there's a teacher inside. Oh, that's soooo God! Those poor college/career students now on Sunday mornings.)

Ministry can be a beast at times as can just life in general. One thing I've found time and time again - you can choose to let it be hairy and run wild... or you can tame it... even if you might have a few split ends like my hair does now. And given how long it is.... what should I expect? Haven't decided yet on the shoulder length or just a couple of inches. The jury is still out.

The testing has been two fold:

1) To see if I could hold my tongue.

2) If I could hold firm and not be moved.

Brother G did have to buy a new tire. And.......

Funny enough? The Spiritual Warfare is still thick and yet, the joy totally outweighs it.