Monday, January 14, 2008

Changing Roles: The Eye Has It.

My mother had her first eye surgery this morning in the big city. Her boyfriend came to pick the two of us up at 6:45 a.m. He insisted on driving. After having been gone all of yesterday, that truly was fine with me.

Mom and I went over all her paperwork as we waited for the nurse to call her back. There's always more paperwork to fill out after you get there... No matter what they say it seems.. Since she couldn't see to read it herself, I had to read it for her. Hoover sat quietly listening to me read to my mom. This has been her first real medical procedure since becoming a widow... single.... with a serious boyfriend. The lines are blurry between the moments in such cases. Being her medical representative is honestly stranger than it was being dad's. It is still a privilege and one that I take seriously.

Hoover and I spent some quality time talking while mom was having her surgery. He is a very kind man. And I am thankful that he cares for my mom like he does. Does it make for some strange times given our living arrangement? Absolutely.... Yet, I have no doubt there are reasons for it all. lol

When she was in recovery - I was called back. Hoover had to stay in the waiting room. Love is a hard thing at times. The nurse taking care of her came to understand quickly mine and mom's roles. It is necessary to talk very direct with my mom. That is a part of being her caregiver... Show compassion yes.... Still be very direct. It is possible with His help.

The nurse and I agreed that it would be best for mom to not come home for a few hours. She is currently at Hoover's house. Travman has a bit of a bug and it was decided to wait for mom to come home tonight instead. Hoover asked me if I wanted to come over too. And while there is a part of me that says as my role as her caregiver ... that I should be there... And yet....

Part of being a caregiver... of truly loving someone is coming to grips with doing what is truly best for them. That today.... was her going to his house instead of to our home. I'm only 5 minutes away tops in case of an emergency. Caregivers come in many forms after all.... and sometimes that means recognizing when a new caregiver has been added to the team.

Yes, I know there are those who will say, "Camey? You should have insisted she come home and not to his house. You're shirking your responsibilities." My responsibilities include assessing the best possible care for all involved. That has been done with due diligence.

Thank you for your continued prayers!

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