Taught Backwards; Living Forward

That quote was used last night at a graduation ceremony my family was at. I frankly do not remember who said it as I was struck by it so intensely at the moment. And this morning, as I sat down to write... it fit as the title! Funny how that happens.

This past week, we received a letter that we are needing to have a meeting about Parker's absences. And while it got this "Mama Bear" in a roar for a brief period of time... I am not at all concerned about it. I stand by not being a "fan" of the public school system. But I remain grateful and thankful for it as well. Again, funny how that can happen.

It did make me think about the past. Especially our decision to take Austin out of public school back when he was in the 7th grade. I remember so clearly walking into the school office and saying, "I'm here to withdraw Austin. He is going to be homeschooled." I remember the looks on the faces of the women I had come to know by first names and voices as well as by faces. I was told, "From what we've known about your family over the years, we would have been disappointed if you had NOT made this decision. Austin is too smart of a kid to be held back because of absences. If we can help you in any way - we are here for you!" We started homeschooling the very next day. The very next one...

Funny thing about homeschooling Austin? That was my plan all along. I never had any intentions of him or any of our sons (3 total - Travis and Parker too) going to public school. Fortunately, I was so incredibly wrong. WHAT??? Did I just say I was "incredibly wrong"??? Yes, I did and with a deep smile on my face too! For homeschooling our sons was not God's plan. His plan is always better than mine. Any single day.

Homeschooling all 3 sons would not have been possible during the years I was ill. Notice - it was after being healed in 03 that I was allowed to homeschool him. And in him being homeschooled - he has had opportunities that would not have been possible otherwise! Especially after moving to where we live currently and then becoming a part of a "homeschooling co-op" at our physical church building. God's paint brush strokes are so evident on that. The picture is filled with bright colors and immense details. After much prayer & discussion, Austin will be finishing high school at the end of this December. Not possible if he had remained in public school. Make no mistake about it though.. not all who attend the "homeschooling co-op" are Christ-followers or have any real local church association other than they come to a building known as one 3 days a week.

Travis and Parker at one time had been asked if they wanted to be homeschooled too after I was completely healed physically in 03. They did not want to be. Why? As lifestyle missionaries - they wanted to remain a light in public schools. And they are! I could share story after story... but God knows all those. And that's enough for me/us.

Austin surrendered to full-time ministry and God well over a year ago now. He has had the opportunities to develop skills in sound, lighting, video, and etc. during our years with our current church. He has taught Bible classes, gone on trips to share God's love, shared God's love here locally, and has discipled and mentored younger guys as well. Just to name a portion. And yes, I am saying, "current church" on purpose.

Life's moments are the classroom. Each and every single one of them. As Christ-followers we were never told to turn over the education of one or all of our children to someone else completely... God is The Foremost Teacher as in/through Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit and of course His Living Word - The Bible. Parents are next - whether good or bad or in-between. The church should be next. And then any other ones. It is not up to the public school system, a homeschool co-op, a private school or the church alone to educate our sons. That is not God's plan.

I am so thankful for the lessons I've learned as a result of three sons that God entrusted to this silly woman and my goofy hubby. For He knew how much we would have to rely on Him and get on our knees! And put band aids on knees too. He knew the tears, the laughter, and etc. Priceless education!

So, as the G family is "living forward" and is in prayer about it.... we remain grateful for what we have been taught backwards. For those who are praying with us and for us... thank you for investing in our family and God's kingdom!

As always, dear reader, dangerous prayers have been said on your behalf!

Much love,
Camey

Dangerous Prayers!

Over the course of the last few weeks, I've had several individuals inquire about "dangerous prayers". I thought I would take a bit of time today to explain and to share a tad of what is going on these days in our life's moments.

Some time ago, God really convicted me about my praying life. Notice - I did not say my prayer time? Praying cannot help but draw one closer to God. And praying should never be just about ones own life. Praying for other individuals is a privilege and a pleasure even if what is going on in their life's moments are wrecked with pain or the happiest of times or in-between. Just like it should be with our own.

In praying dangerous prayers - I ask God to make Himself known to my self and others in ways that there can be no doubt that it is Him. That wherever one is at, whatever doing or have done - to know God's presence and His love personally. Dangerous prayers involves risk. It involves not staying the same but being moved beyond ones own self. To see those around them as God does. To go where they themselves might not ever want to go on their own.

Over the last few months - I've had some of the most intense moments spent in prayer. Some praising God, thanking Him. Others - listening and not talking. And of course, conversing with my Father. The One who is in first place in my life. In truth, some of most intense ones have happen the last two weeks - especially while hubby was in Illinois.

I have not been called to the wisdom of this world. I have been called to love God and love people. To minister to the seen and unseen wherever they may be. To make the Gospel known and alive and breathing. And my husband has been called to the same. Our family has. When we walked away from the life we had known Memorial Day weekend back in 2005 - make no mistake about it... we were sent to where we are currently. I would have never come here on my own as so many of you know. For in coming here - it meant my parents were no longer able to live on their own. It would mean at some point my daddy going to Heaven as he did in Nov of 06. It would mean being back in the daily grind of living with my mom who suffers with mental illness. Again, I would have never come here on my own. I came... we came because we were sent. We live sent. That's what I mean by lifestyle missionary. And it is dangerous. It caused us to give away and/or sell almost every single thing we had the pleasure of being entrusted to us... a house, one of two vehicles, a dog, a church body we had loved for 15 years and had served with and seen our sons come to know Jesus personally, being baptized, and etc. Not to mention saying goodbye to dear friends who had been such a part of our life's moments on a daily basis as well as hubby's job with the same company for 17 years. And yes, to insurance even.

My husband left last Saturday for Illinois to preach, teach, minister and etc. to another church body and community there. This was the 3rd time he has been sent there since we've been here. I knew before he left - this time was different through praying. And it was.... and is... Our hearts have been stirred again. We have clearly known God's presence more than ever before and have heard Him speaking in our lives and out of them. And God has used others in ways that are beyond words. To all those whom have been praying - thank you... and please do not stop now.

So, dear reader, I ask you.... if you claim to be a Christ-follower or a Christian, how is your praying life?

If God asked you to give up and leave the life you know currently - would you be willing to do so?

When others hear your name do they think of how you show God's love or do they wonder if you even know Him at all?

What do you need to pray dangerous prayers about? For it is not some thing only a woman named Camey can do.

And remember - any time you think I'm pointing fingers at you... I've got some pointing right back at me.

As always, dear reader, you've been prayed for. And it IS dangerous indeed.

Much love,
Camey

Speaking His Language

The sun is setting through the window as I write.

On my mind are the little boy & girl I held in my arms today.

We had never met before & yet were not strangers.

I had prayed for them earlier in the day - long before I knew we were going to meet.

It's called being in the here/now and yet in the there/then.

Only possible with Holy Spirt.

I alone am incapable.

Safety vs Dangerous!

This morning I was praying about what to post. I knew it was to be on "Safety vs Dangerous"... Funny enough? A dear friend of ours (Bill - aka cycleguy) posted a video on his blog that his daughter (Tami) had sent him.

You can check it out by clicking on the title of this post.

While you're there.. drop Bill a comment and tell him I sent you if you have a moment.

Why is it funny that our dear friend Bill posted this video on a morning when I was going to post on "safety vs dangerous"???? We've never met face to face. YET! We only know each other through blogging and emails and PRAYERS. And yet, the connection is that of Real Family. Why? Because of God. How? God's love.

I'm often asked about why I pray dangerous prayers and why I talk about our sons being "brothers in Christ" being more important than our children. Not long ago I had a few people upset with me that I said I would have been disappointed in Austin if he had not gone in to that liquor store in Belize. He knew God wanted him to go in to that liquor store. To not go would have been "playing it safe!"

This past weekend - we had our annual "Kindness Explosion" where we showed God's love all over this town and surrounding communities most of which are "highly secure gated communities"... (read: people live inside the gates just like outside.)I could share tons of stories with you about how we saw God move because of individuals willing to not play it safe! I could also share about a wreck that happened.. (Tip: When using signs to advertise "Free Car Washes!" watch where drivers might be needing to stop and/or turn.) Fortunately, no one was hurt!

If you're a Christ-follower...

God didn't call us to live a life of safety!

He didn't call us to stay locked up in our homes.

He called us to be lifestyle missionaries - each and every single one of us.

Wherever life takes you - share God's love! Use words if necessary!

As always, dear reader, you've been prayed for!

Much love,
Camey

PS: And if you're reading this and you are not a Christ-follower... I hope you notice God today no matter your circumstances!

April 15, 2009 - Dead Wrong Part II

In the last post, I wrote about being "Dead Wrong" and how I wanted to leave this town almost a year ago now. I shared about being hurt then and wanting to retreat. Yesterday, is proof positive yet again, that I would have missed out on the best year thus far and the first few months of 09.

I was told that I was silly for wanting a milkshake from the Braum's that was having its Opening Day. "A milkshake for your birthday? Wow, Camey! You're cheap!" Oh, but in order to have that milkshake - my incredible hubby, Dick, had to do something he normally does not want to. Let's just say he's not a fan of going somewhere on its Grand Opening! Out of his love for me, and given the fact that we didn't go to a Braum's like we normally do when celebrating the anniversary of the day we met (April 10th, 1988), he was more than willing to go. Best milkshake I've had since the one a friend held for me to drinkI in a hospital years ago when I could not hold it on my own. Okay.. call me silly.

I was also asked why I did not take off. I'm at the pcb for 11 to 12 hours normally on Wednesdays. Simply put.. to have taken off and been any where else would not have been celebrating the life that I am so blessed with. I spent time with individuals that this time last year - I did not even know or was just meeting. I also spent time with many whom are dear friends and have taught me more than they could ever realize. I had encounters with individuals that were coming to the pcb that normally do not. Again, feel free to call me silly.

There are other things about the day I could share with you.. like how I am so thankful for all the friends that I have all over the world. How you've each shown me God in ways that you might not ever understand. Or if you did.. you might agree and call us both silly.

Like I said yesterday, the best gift of all is God's love. And even though there might be a lot of "I" in this post.... please realize - there is far more of Him than silly o' me. The evidence speaks for itself....

And again, I'm so thankful to have been dead wrong. W-R-O-N-G can end up being more than right.

As always, dear reader, you've been prayed for.

Much love,
Camey

PS: there's also a free concert the G family is going to on Saturday, 26th for my birthday... Silly again.. free, one of our favorite singers, and worshipping God with my hubby and three sons. Somethings one simply cannot put a price tag on!

Dead Wrong

This morning I received a phone call from someone who has become a dear friend. He was checking in to see when the G family would be arriving at a place he arranged for us due to the septic system being replaced. The septic guys haven't even showed up yet..looking like it won't be until tomorrow at the earliest at this point. And I am thankful. Why? It serves as a great reminder of a lesson involving this same dear friend and the year of 2008 as a whole.

2008 was a hard year in many ways. At one point, I was beyond ready to leave this town. I had been hurt by a couple of people and was ready to retreat. Utterly ready to leave the town I had once said I would never come to. I am so thankful that Dick kept listening to God and knew it would be the wrong thing for us to do. He knew it. I had to accept it. We weren't leaving then. I couldn't fathom why at the time. Remember... I was hurt. That should have been reason enough right? Nope.

Over the course of the last year, I have sought God more so than I ever have before in my life. And when given the chance to really work through things with one of the people involved, I decided to put myself to the test. What do I mean? I was willing to be hurt even more if that was what it took. Talk about staying on my knees.

A couple of months ago, this now dear friend and I really started talking again. Not surface talk... really talking. He admitted to me that he was taking his anger out on me because of what I represented to him at the time. Once he realized he needed to start working on his anger and why he was angry to begin with - he realized how much he had hurt me in the process. And talk about being sorry. No doubt I have forgiven him as has he forgiven me for my no longer wanting to be around him then. I judged what I did not understand. Dang...

Honesty need not be feared. Had this one particular dear friend and I not been totally honest with each other, we both would have been dead wrong. And we would have missed out on the sheer blessings we now know. And to top that off, I would have missed out on one of the best years and the first few months of 09!

Who are you dead wrong about?

And if you think there's no one... Perhaps you need to check your pulse.

As always, dear reader, you've been prayed for!

Much love,
Camey

They Can't Teach That At Seminary

This was actually written last Thursday. Watch for new posts this week!
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This morning I wrote a new post with the same title. Before I had finished and saved it, I hit a wrong button and "Poof" it was gone. This afternoon, I had to laugh at that. This morning.. well, I was a little bummed. Funny what a few hours can do for you.

Some time ago, a man asked me to pray for his grandson. He took off his mask for a bit and shared with me the hurts and pains his grandson was experiencing. Some by his grandson's own choices and others -not. Most who know us both would never realize the deep relationship we have with each other. A relationship that was truly birthed through prayer. Once upon a time this same man had prayed for my physical healing. We did not even know each other face to face at that time. He knew of and about me through my dad, Larry. I was greatly touched he would share with me about his grandson and ask me to pray. Little did we both know then....

Jeremy got to the point where he was living with his grandparents off and on. I met him one night and introduced myself. I also shared with him that I had been praying for him at his grandfather's request. He told me he knew my relationship with his grandfather must be special for him to do that. I invited him to come to the Sunday small group I (hubby too when available) teach for 18 to 25 yr olds. He smiled and said he would think about it.

Jeremy started coming to the group off and on. There are many things about him I could share with you.. some might even make this more exciting of a story. What I can share for sure is this... Jeremy used to sell drugs, did drugs, and had just joined the Army in an effort to try to get his life on a different course. The first Sunday morning he came to the small group, I knew I was going to have to start listening to the Spirit even more so than normal. (For those who have been in any of my classes/groups before can laugh now.) His life's moments had been so incredibly different than any other person I had ever taught or been a leader or really even ministered to before. No, not because of the drugs. That is very common. We ended that first group time with him standing in the middle of the room, laying hands on him, and praying. Spirit was ever so present... it still gives me chills.

The last time Jeremy was in the group.... I shared with him and the others there how much I had come to love and appreciate him. I sat down beside him, looked him in the eyes, and thanked him for sharing his life's moments with us. The look on his face - I won't forget any time soon. He actually asked for prayer about his life and I could not help but take him in my heart even more.

Last night, hubby called me on my cell and asked me to come to the welcome desk down in the foyer of the physical church building. I didn't ask why which is sort of unusual for me at that time of the evening. I was hanging out with a bunch of funny looking people that I also love beyond words - also known as some middle school and high school students. I didn't hesitate in going to see what the call was about though.

When I got to the welcome desk, there was Jeremy. His grandparents were there too. As it turns out, Jeremy had to go to his aunt's this past Sunday. He had missed what he had told me would be his last Sunday in the group. He asked hubby to get me there so he could thank me and tell me goodbye. I hugged him... I know, what a surprise, and got all teary-eyed. I asked him if I could pray for him. I was going to put my hand on his shoulder when he reached out his arms to hug me. We stood there hugging each other as I whispered the prayer in his ear. What I said will stay between me, Jeremy, God, and perhaps hubby if his ears were able to hear with all the other sounds around us. His grandparents were standing off behind us.

Jeremy promised to stay in touch. His grandmother hugged me and thanked me for loving their grandson. It is safe to say that our relationship is even stronger now than before. Funny how that happens. His grandfather couldn't come close to me. He knew he would cry. I knew he would cry. And given the fact that he hugs me too, we all would have been crying. Sometimes - it is okay to watch from a distance that really isn't distant at all.

The title of this might sound strange to some. I don't talk very much about seminary on purpose. While I am thankful for my time there, I have come to learn many valuable lessons just as much outside the halls, walls, and grounds. I would go so far as to say, even more important ones. For when Jeremy showed up, I knew I had to rely on God more than I could myself. The details of that... again I'll let stay.

Will Jeremy ever come to know Jesus as his Lord and Savior? I don't know. What I do know is this... what happened between us is something that they can't teach at seminary. God's love is alive. It is breathing. It did not die on that cross and stay dead. And who am I to say, "I can't love you until you believe as I do."

Please pray for Jeremy.. he has a long road ahead of him. And I remain thankful that Jeremy's grandfather prayed for me when I was paralyzed from the neck down all those years ago... long before we were sent to a place I said I would never go.

God loved first. And that is more than enough for me. In fact, that's where abundant living truly is found.... in His love. And He loved enough to send His Only Son...

Talk about making me all teary-eyed.

As always, dear reader, you've been prayed for.

Much love,
Camey

It's This Simple.

There is Only 1 Way to Heaven. Jesus Christ.

There is Only 1 God worthy of praise & worship.

May Spirit move mightily 2day across the world.

May His Church realize it's not a building.


As always, dear reader, you've been prayed for.

"Killing Cockroaches" - One Foot At A Time

As I sit here listening to "How To Save A Life" by The Fray - I cannot help but think of a book I've recently had the pleasure of reading for the opportunity to review. "Killing Cockroaches" by Tony Morgan the chief strategic officer (pastor) at NewSpring Church is one book I've looked forward to since I first heard the author, Tony, talking about it.

As someone who has read Tony's blog, http://tonymorganlive.com/ for quite some time, this book has a familiar feeling to it. It honestly reads like a hug from Tony. Sorry, Tony. I know you're not a hugger. ;) Some people give "side hugs"... others give hugs that literally feel as if you're having the you-know-what squeezed out of you. That's the type of hug this would be from Tony. Kind of like when a cockroach is stomped with a foot and out comes all that stuff that has to be cleaned up.

The following are just a few reasons why I connect with this book and its author, and hope you will as well or at least it will make you think:

"If we're just teaching people a foreign language, what have we really accomplished?" (pg 21)

- This past Sunday as I was teaching a small group, one of the 20-something guys said, "What is envy?" Now, I was reading directly from Scripture and this guy was completely unfamiliar with it. This comment from Tony was brought to my mind immediately. The individuals in the group who were more familiar with envy actually took the time to explain it to him and give personal examples. Could I have just said, "Envy means to covet an other's possessions or life." Absolutely. But would he have really understood that? Nope. Nada. Not gonna happen.

"Churchiness Is Easy" - the whole chapter! If I didn't know that Tony lived in South Carolina, I might be tempted to think he was a fly on my wall or on the inside windshield of my car or in text messages on my cell or however via facebook, myspace, twitter or etc. I definitely agree that Real Faith is Dangerous! It's no coincidence that I have been praying for Tony while he was writing this book and since its release either.

"I think we're making a huge mistake if we assume young adults will continue to come to our buildings to experience community." (pg 25)

TONY????? (Okay.. he didn't answer.) Again - this struck me as the chapter on "Churchiness Is Easy" did. As one who has come to use social media tools such as facebook, myspace, and twitter - I have come to see this alive and in living color. I can be found at the pcb (physical church building) on Sunday mornings at 9:00 a.m. to teach/lead our 18 to 25-year-old small group. And while there are times when they interact and really get into the discussion - what they will communicate with me through the social media tools is always greater. Shocking? To some perhaps. It is the way they know life and live it. As I was told not long ago by an 18-year-old female, "Camey, you can speak into my life because you are a part of it more than just 1 hour every Sunday. Someone who just acts like they care on Sunday but then I never hear from them again until the next does not." (Yes, I can hear the 'OUCH' that bites. Don't we all need to be bitten from time to time so we don't become immune?)

"Whatever you choose to do, encourage folks to serve others either inside or outside the walls of your church. I'm convinced that one of the primary ways we worship God with our lives is by serving others." (pg 31)

I think over the years there has become a great confusion inside the walls of the physical church buildings. Worshipping God is a way of life - not just a few minutes on Sunday morning, Saturday night, or whenever one might be at a "worship service" or "worship experience"... We were created to worship God, serve Him, and therefore, serve others. It's a daily thing. Not a "when I feel like it."

"It's sad, but I wonder if we've inadvertently designed our ministries to isolate Christians from the places where God really wants them to be." (pg 61)

Let that one sink in. Chew on it. And then, please spit it out. This past week, our oldest son - Austin (17), went to Belize. As a lifestyle missionary - he knows and understands that he is to be inside the liquor store just as much as the orphanage, physical church building, and etc wherever he may be whether in Belize or in the good ole USA. I've had some individuals tell me it's wrong to encourage him to go into such places without me or his dad there. Hello? His Real Father (God) had already gone before him. He belongs to God. He's only on loan to us. What ministries can your body be a part of that is outside the walls? I'm not talking mission trips here. If you are a Christ-follower - you too should be a lifestyle missionary - not just a sitting in the seat/pew saying, "It's good to be in God's house today." Then, leave without giving Him a second thought until next Sunday. I know.. I've been there and done that. If you think I'm pointing a figure at you.. remember - I have more pointing at me.

"We serve a God who called us to go to the lost. Care for the sick. Touch the untouchables. But too often we fail to see the painful stories that hide behind seemingly normal lives. Are you prepared to listen and help?" (pg 195)

This is what I mean by I was called to minister to the seen and unseen. So? Are you called? Are you prepared? (If you know me at all - you know how I would answer that for you.)

I could share more of my thoughts on "Killing Cockroaches" by Tony Morgan. But, honestly? I'm curious to hear yours. What strikes me as even more interesting however, is if you can merely read it and not let it impact the way you too kill cockroaches one foot at a time.

For what good does it do to read a book, web site, or whatever if you just keep it on a bookshelf, rss feed or pdf file?

Thanks Tony!

http://tonymorganlive.com/
http://tonymorganlive.com/book
http://twitter.com/tonymorganlive

And of course, you can find him (Tony Morgan) via facebook. He might even be willing to be your friend too.

As always, dear reader, you've been prayed dangerous prayers for! RISK!

When Love Hurts: Changing Roles

So..... Today is March 23rd. In a couple of hours, I will be having "the talk" with my mom about the fact that she has a doctor's appointment today at 11:15 a.m. I will be sharing with her that I made the appointment for her. Yes, the daughter made the appointment for her mom. Definitely a change of roles. Just one of many since our time here. Not my strength but God's!

Yesterday I was told that if my hubby, myself, Austin, Travis, and Parker would stop being so bold for Jesus - what is going on with Mom would stop. As I've stated time and time before - we are not going to apologize for serving the One & Only Savior - Jesus Christ. After all, there is None like our Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Will she go willingly to the doctor today? That remains to be seen. I will be sharing with her that I made the appointment not just on behalf of her, but hundreds of people who love and care about her. Family, friends, the boyfriend, and etc. The guys (hubby, sons, brother - Kelly, and boyfriend) & I have decided that I will be alone when I talk with her. And yet, we know that I will not be alone. For God has gone before me/us on this.... no matter what she decides.

The boyfriend is set to pick us up and go with us as a sign of his love, support, and etc if she is willing to go. If she decides to not go or is unwilling to get back on the meds... we will take the next step for the G family and move out. The next step for her after that... well, we will all continue to seek God's guidance.

We remain grateful for all the prayers lifted up on her behalf and ours. Some times loving another person can hurt. It can bite big time. But yet, we remain thankful for her life's moments even in the ones that are painful. Why? Because of God's love first.

I will update this note when possible. Until then, let me/us know how we can pray for you! Dangerous prayers are being taken up a notch as this is written!

Signed,
His Daughter then hers

PS: And yes... as always, dear reader, you've been prayed for! And thank you for any and all prayers you lift up as well.

UPDATE: My mom is in fact bi-polar. She is starting on some new meds tonight. Let me rephrase that - we hope she will start them. She's not very happy with anyone right now. That is to be expected of course. Thank you all for your prayers already prayed and the ones we know will continue on her behalf and ours.

In Response to: When Love Hurts & General Update

Thank you to all whom have commented, messaged, called, caught me in person or however to respond to "When Love Hurts." Your friendships, love, and prayers have been quite touching.

For those who shared personal stories with me... thank you for entrusting me with your own hurts. I am thankful that we have the type of connections with each other through Jesus that we can share the hard times of life's moments as well as the good. Please know that I continue to pray for you/yours. Thank you again for sharing your own trials with me whether it is/was you or family.

My mom as of yet has not gone back on the meds. I have taken a couple of more steps in our intervention on her behalf. If you would please pray in regards to her nuclear stress test today & then the appointment she has on the 23rd. We've decided to not tell her about that appointment yet. I'm not concerned about sharing that information here obviously.

In the midst of all this with her... Hubby is leaving on Saturday for IL to preach 5 times and serve the community there. Austin is leaving on Saturday for Belize for a week to share God's love in prisons, schools, orphanages, and etc. Travis and Parker will be on Spring Break as well. And the septic system is in need of an overhaul. Yes, I will still be found at the pcb at my regular scheduled times unless plans change! Travis and Parker will be with me no doubt. Oh... and Travis still needs to see a speciality dentist!

I was asked yesterday point blank about where do I stand in my relationship with God in light of all that is going on with my mom. To the person who asked me - thank you for being that kind of friend! We all need individuals in our lives who are willing to ask those kind of questions & truly want to hear the real answer... not the "churchy" answer. I have found in these types of trials that I draw nearer to God and not farther away. He is my Hope, my Rock, and my Foundation. Doesn't mean that this time in life with my mom doesn't hurt. It still bites big time. What it also means is that I am being stretched beyond where I could go on my own as Dick, Austin, Travis, and Parker are too.

We were created for God.. by God... Why should we think we could live life's moments without Him? Why would we want to? The G family serves The Risen Savior. And that we will not apologize for.

Love hurts... Jesus' blood on the cross is proof positive of that.

Do you know Jesus?

If so, how's your relationship with Him in light of your circumstances?And yes, I really do want to know...

As always, dear reader, you've been prayed for.

And thanks for the prayers on our behalf too!

When Love Hurts

One of the things I've (we've) been convicted about since surrendering to God and ministry back in 04 is not being "happy plastic Christians." You know the type... nothing is ever wrong. The sun is always shining. They seemingly have no problems. Their family is perfect because they are. Appearances...

We, the G family, know that is not how God has told us to live life's moments. There are times when love hurts. We are experiencing that these days. And after much prayer on it... it's time to share a bit about what we're going through in an effort to let someone else out there know - you're not alone. And to also shed some light on a messy subject.

I've shared before about the fact that my mother suffers from severe depression among other things. It is one of the things that I also teach, speak, and counsel on. For far too long, I/we believe that "the church" has swept this under the rug. That it is still taboo in many circles. And I know there are those who disagree with me as a pastor's wife & woman minister for being outspoken on it. I'd (we'd) rather be right with God than to be popular in any one's else book. Any church body that would consider my husband for their pastor would have to accept this about us as well.

My mother decided to take herself off her meds a few months ago in an effort to see if she could do without them. Keep in mind here - she did so without telling anyone - not her doctor, not any one else in our household (daughter, son-in-law & 3 grandsons)... and not her boyfriend of almost two years now. Needless to say... it didn't take too long for those who know her, love her, and spend any real amount of time with her to say, "She's gone off her meds!" Then, sure enough... she started confirming it verbally for all of us.

I'd like to say that the last few months we've noticed a dramatic change in her mental/emotional health. That she no longer has a need for the meds she was on. That is not the reality we are living in. And frankly, these have been moments when love hurts. It bites big time. The five of us have never been closer to each other. It continues to draw us together and not separate us. The same is true with Dick and I as husband and wife. There are times when being caregivers can overtake a family if boundaries are not put in place. At no time did God say, "Go ye therefore and forsake your spouse & children for your parent(s).

"There is no question that we love her beyond words. There is also no doubt that if she decides to not go back on her meds after having been confronted the last couple of days by the five of us and her boyfriend separately, and then he (boyfriend) and I together, we will be moving out. Does this mean that we will stop loving her and offering support to her in other ways - not necessarily.

There is a lot of talk about how much depression hurts those who suffer from it. What is not always talked about is how it affects those who love them. When we moved in with my parents in May of 05 to become a new family unit, we thought it would be for the rest of my mom's life.. we knew it would be for dad's. We planned on her going with us wherever else God called us to. That is how deep our commitment level is/was.

One thing that God has taught us over and over again especially in regards to my mother is this.... while we do not understand why some people suffer in certain ways - the relationship with Him is always the most important. His blood is truly the thickest. And there are times when love hurts... it bites... There are times when staying is the right thing to do. Then there are other times when leaving is what is called for. Will we stay? Will we leave? That remains to be seen. Honestly, we've stayed longer than I thought we would.

As I've been known to say.... this was the place I once upon a time told God I would not go. Goes to show - how things can change when you give God control of your life's moments.

My mother is doing better as far as the pneumonia goes. She is having her stress test on Monday, March 9th. We'll take each day as they come. Isn't that all we can ever really do? There is no guarantee of a tomorrow on earth. Please continue to pray for her, us and yes... even her boyfriend. No, they will not be getting married unless other miracles were to take place.

And even though there are moments when it hurts like hell.... I am thankful that it continues to draw me closer to my Real Father. I am in no way, shape or form close to having things all together. Fortunately, Father does not turn His back on me either... nor has He with my mother who is also His child. These are areas where we may never understand the why... but we must continue to keep our eyes focused on Him.

I cannot begin to imagine how much love hurt when Jesus was on the cross dying. Who am I to expect love to be easy? There is Only One who makes us complete as a person. Mental, emotional, and physical health are important... but the reality is, has always been, and will always be Spiritual health is the most important.

Have you had a Spiritual health check up lately?

As always, dear reader, you've been prayed for!

"Larry Brown" - On hearing from my Father.

The last few months, we've been experiencing a rather weird thing with our answering machine on the land line. When going to check the messages - there shows 1 new one. Upon listening, there is one of our all time favorite voices - that of Larry Brown. There does not show a number on the Caller ID connected with the message. All that is said is, "Larry Brown."

I must confess to being a little crept out the first couple of times I heard his voice on the answering machine. For those not in know here - Larry Brown was my daddy. I say was because he went to be with Jesus on November 1, 2006. And while my daddy has actually never been more alive - by all earthly standards - he is dead. His body is buried in a cemetery we pass by when going through the town connected with the front gate of our highly secure gated community.

If you've known me for any length of time - or have read my notes or blog or articles that have been published in various places or heard me speak in person... you'll know that my daddy and I were exceedingly close. He wasn't just my daddy... he was one of my dearest friends later in life as an adult. He was/is most importantly - my brother in Christ. His voice - even when mad at me - always brought me comfort. It was as familiar to me as any voice could possibly be.

You might be thinking - "How great to hear his voice again then!" Or about how weird it is that I am hearing from daddy... We know it has some thing to do with when my mother uses what was his cell phone to check for messages on the land line. Like I said earlier - it did creep me out the first couple of times. Now I laugh and have to smile deeply. Why?

My daddy always taught me and showed me by how he/we lived life's moments that the most important relationship I could ever have was with my real father. Oh sure... Larry Brown was my biological father.. my earthly dad.. but he is/was not my real father. Larry could not save me all the times he tried.

While I will always remember with such tenderness and fondness the sound of my daddy's voice.... it in no way compares to that of knowing and hearing and recognizing that of my Real Father's. The love that my Real Father has for me is the most precious. It is priceless. It is beyond measure.

So, dear reader..... let me ask you...

Do you know intimately the sound of His voice?

Would you recognize it above all others?

Do you walk toward the sound of His voice or run in the other direction?

And if you are a parent - are you intentionally teaching the child(ren) you've been blessed with to want to know the sound of His voice?

There is no voice worth hearing more so than that of God's.

As always, dear reader, you've been prayed for!

Hope Secure!

Today is the day for Trav's root canal. The lovely procedure will take place at 9:00 a.m. (CST). Fortunately for him - there is no public school tomorrow so he can stay in and rest. It's a given he is staying home the rest of today. Travis is not a good patient. He won the award for "groaning" after his appendectomy in 05. His hair is so cool though - it's hard to take that seriously.. Of course his mean trumpet playing will be put on hold for a few weeks. That's not like killing him softly - it's more like stabbing him with a knife in his scar!

As I said yesterday afternoon - mom is still to sick to have her stress test made. This is not good considering the fact that she is also in pain. She had spiked a temperature yesterday, but it appears to be going back down now. Did I mention I'm still unclear as to why she wasn't put in the hospital almost 2 weeks ago now? Then again, the doctor didn't ask me and there is so much junk going around this town that the hospital has been packed. A couple of weeks ago the public school system was looking at needing to close her doors even. There's a theory going around that it has some thing to do with the water. Please note - I did not say I buy into that theory.

My uncle is back home from being in the hospital. Home health care is coming to visit with him every day. This is a positive thing as he was looking at being put in a nursing home. While that may, on one hand, have been better for my aunt - it would not have been so for him. We greatly appreciate all the prayers, concern, hugs, and love that have been shown.

Please keep the prayers going! And while you're at them you can add the following.....

1) Austin is going to Belize during Spring Break. Friday he is getting the required shots necessary. This is just the first of his trips out of the US as a missionary.

2) Dick is teaching/speaking at a different venue on Saturday night. If you are a college student or a 20 something - you're invited. Send me a message saying you're interested and I'll send you the information on when, where, and etc.

3) Dick is also going to be out of town during Spring Break. He is going to be preaching Sunday morning, Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, and serving in the community where he will be at during the day. It is safe to say that the man is really pumped. He will be in IL.

4) I'm writing new Bible studies for the month of March for our 18 to 25 year old group. They've already be forewarned that "The Questionator" will definitely be there! I'm not the type of teacher/leader that talks the whole time. I require interaction! If you're a part of this group - consider yourself loved enough for me to go there with you! Know God loves you even more than I(we) do!

Thanks again! And remember - my (our) Hope is found only in and through God! For the woman who said to me last night, "Well at least you're still standing!" That statement has never been more true! I serve a Risen Savior and it is sheer joy even when dealing with the unpleasant - tough stuff of life's moments.

As always, dear reader, you've been prayed for!

Life in the Moments Update!

Thanks to all whom have checked in with me on being quiet lately. There has been so much going on that I've needed some RQMs (really quiet moments).

My mother has been ill for the last couple of weeks with pneumonia. Tomorrow she is having a stress test made. Just a bit ago - she informed me that I needed to contact a man I've not seen or talked with since 06. It seems my mother is going to be having heart surgery if the stress test confirms what was seen during her recent physical. I opted to not go that day to the doctor with her since her boyfriend was taking her and I was scheduled to be at the physical church building. Being my mom's caregiver is always interesting to say the least. Yes, please pray! Darren couldn't look me in the eyes the last time I saw him. He just cried at the mere thought of my daddy dying. Darren was my dad's Cardio doctor. There is no question he will be my mom's as well if he is available. We came to love him dearly as a member of the family. My daddy passing on didn't change that for one moment.

Travis went to the dentist today. On Thursday, that mean jazz player will be having a root canal. The dentist informed him that his soft drink and candy days are over! As his mother - I could see this coming a mile away. Choices come back to bite us if we're not careful. And according to Travis - this bites big time! Yes, please pray! I told Trav this is definitely a part of his "PK's story." If you don't understand that one... well, let's just say that not everyone can afford insurance. Fortunately, there is a discount when paying cash. God is good! All the time.. God is good. Being debt free came at just the right time too!

Parker is going to the doctor in just a little while. This is his second day of school to miss this week alone. I'm sure it's connected to his allergies. That's one thing we get for being surrounded by all these trees! When you have a dream.. there might be more you get than meets the eye! Yes, again... please pray.

On being debt free... I announced on Saturday (through facebook & twitter & in person with others) that the G family had reached this unbelievable feat! Once upon a time "experts" said it could not be accomplished. That's what happens when one has faced catastrophic illnesses for years like I did. Our being able to attain such is proof positive that "experts" truly don't know every single thing. It also goes hand in hand with dangerous prayers that have been prayed. "What can the people of God do if they were debt free?" Uh.... pay for a root canal with cash for one.. a doctor's visit for another.. just to name a couple! (Laugh.. really.. it does a body good!)

For those who have been praying for my uncle.. please continue to do so. The man does not want to walk. As I stood by his bedside last night, he and I had a bit of a heart to heart. Needless to say, I will be putting on my "other hat" with him if he doesn't get his butt in gear soon! Yes, please keep praying. This is the uncle I've always been closest to. He can be gruff.. he can be rude... but he is who he is and I accepted his weird form of love a long time ago now. (Laugh... he would find that rather funny!)

Is there news on a church for hubby/us? That one will have to wait. See? I can be quiet when I need to be. (Laugh..... there are moments when I can't shut up! If you've ever heard me teach/speak in person - you can say "Amen" now!)

So? What's happening in your life's moments these days?

As always, you dear reader, have been prayed for!

Note: This was written yesterday, Tuesday, 24th. My mom's stress test is today. Parker is indeed suffering from being highly allergic to certain trees.

Lester.

This was written on Friday..

This morning we received word that one of the dearest individuals we've ever had the privilege & pleasure of knowing had taken his final breath. It is in memory of him that I share the following.

Lester was 89-years young. Almost every week, he would be at the physical church building to volunteer his time doing whatever needed to be done. Whether it was stuffing worship guides or doing mass mail-outs - he could be counted on. Given the size of our local church body - we could be talking 1,000 plus here.

Lester was married to Erma. One day as they were preparing to leave the physical church building, Lester stopped to talk with me. That conversation has stayed with me since January of last year, as does his smile, arms around me, and the feel of his check as I would kiss it. Lester and his wife knew my daddy. They loved him deeply. No question, he loved them as well. Lester said to me, "You know Camey? Until your daddy came along, I do not think anyone but my wife knew what my name was. Your daddy made a point to call me by name every single time he saw me." Lester cried while standing there at my desk.

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name....

A couple of weeks ago, Lester was put in the hospital. It was arranged by his wife for me to spend some real time alone with him. Lester & I talked as in-depth as two like us could about the fact that Jesus was already talking with him about it being soon. He told me to be sure to tell everyone to be thankful whenever it happened. I have and will continue to. As I held his hand & rubbed his head with a washcloth, he would drift off and on asleep. What a privilege to be by his bedside during those moments too. Death & dying for the Christ-follower is not something that should be feared.

Today the phones at the physical church building rang off the hook due in part because of word spreading about his passing. I think it is safe - more than just a few of us know well the name - Lester. He also trained others like our three sons how to do what needed to be done after he was gone. I can also tell you that Lester loved Jesus. He was a good and faithful servant. And as he took his last breath - there was ONLY ONE whom he truly cared knew his name. I have no doubt he knew well the sound of his Master's Voice.

For locals:

Sunday evening - Visitation from 5 to 7 p.m. at Wiley's.

Monday morning - Celebration Service at 11:00 a.m. at Wiley's too. Yes, at Wiley's.

Of Dreams, Prayers, and Red Hair!

There are individuals who come into our life's moments that simply teach us more than they will ever realize. One such individual made an unexpected to us arrival on February 2nd, 1998. I was only seven months pregnant at that the time. I had an infection that was causing danger to me & to Parker in the womb and I was in labor. He arrived via an emergency C-section at 3:51 p.m. By all accounts from the medical world, Parker should not be alive. Since he did live, he should, according to doctors, have all sorts of health issues. That redheaded son of ours is as healthy as can be!

As Parker & I were driving this morning, we were talking in-depth about things as we so often do. Frankly, his vocabulary keeps me on my toes! We were talking in particular about dreams. I recounted to him the dream announcing his life. It was in the dream that I learned I was even pregnant, that the baby was a boy, and that his name was Parker. Notice - I didn't say would be.. His name was Parker. He was already alive inside of me. Parker always finds it fascinating that I had the dream one night after coming out of the water having gone off the diving board at his Gmama's & Gdad's (Gravley) house. I came up out of the water & knew I shouldn't dive again. Just as I know I'm writing this now.

Parker & I were also discussing the prayer time the five of us had last night during half-time of the Super Bowl. We were praying for all that is going on here... but also specifically for the next place.... the next body of believers & those yet to come that we will be moving from G-town to serve as lifestyle missionaries and that hubby will pastor. He said, "You know I haven't had a dream about where just yet. But when I do - Mom, you'll be the first to know!" Parker & I have dreams. I know that makes some uncomfortable.. It is what it is. It was Parker who dreamed that the next place we lived would be surrounded by trees. That was long before we heard clearly from God about moving here. Thousands of trees! When the boys were sitting on the couch and I said, "We're moving.." Parker said, "To Grandpa's to take care of him and Grandma too. That's the right thing to do!"

And little did we all know - that it would be in connection with the life that we had at the time & where we are now that he would come to be the Christ-follower and lifestyle missionary that he is. Upon seeing me after having been with friends - he shares with me what is going on in their life's moments. It is not uncommon for him to say, "Mom... We need to pray for _________. They were hurting today. I told them we would be praying for them." It is not uncommon for Parker to give away small hand-size Bibles either. Oh, sure there are times when Parker likes to flick his brothers or other teens he knows on the head or give a light tug on their hair. But, it is also his way of saying to them, "You're being noticed right now!" Stop and think about that for a moment.

Parker & I dance together more often than most realize. We dance out of celebration for the lives that God has given us. We dance as a part of our worshipping the Only One who knows the number of hairs on our heads - mine brown/gray and his red. We dance as a way to remember where we've each been health wise in the past and where we each are today. It is no surprise to me that it was Parker that God used to start me/us noticing that I was being physically healed back in 2003. Or that some of our favorite conversations have taken place in trees whether sitting in them or under.

At noon today, I have a hot date planned with an 11-year-boy who knows who his Real Father is... God. And I am thankful even more so to be his sister-in-Christ than I am his mother.

As always, dear reader, you've been prayed for.

The Best Christmas Ever - 2008

You might be saying to yourself, "Camey? Christmas has come & gone. The season has now changed to Valentine's with hearts & candy." I would simply have to agree to disagree with you of course.

The Gravley family of five (Dick - 42, Camey - 40, Austin - 17, Travis - 14, and Parker - 10), decided that we were simply tired of all the Christmases gone by. We ached for it reflect how we live our lifes' moments. We purposed to change our family's legacy. Not just our five mind you.. but to impact the current Brown's too as well as the extend Gravley family.

We prayed and discussed how we would go about our intentional actions. We came up with a plan. We each had a part. We knew what it would require of us. We all agreed. It was a family decision... a family's commitment... and individual ones as well.

One of our gift to our sons and theirs to us was spending time together serving others. There is a ministry in a big city that we simply enjoying being a part of from the moment we even think of going there to even months since we left there. We scheduled a day to go. We worked their Christmas Store from 9:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. Funny enough? Dick was the only one of us that had not been there.. We could not wait for him to come to know it as intimately as we already did. It took him all of a couple of minutes. No surprise there given that hubby of mine or their dad.

Hubby & I also purposed that we were not spending more than $200 tops on all gifts that we would buy. We didn't even spend that much. Instead of things, we gave time and ourselves. The boys picked out a few gifts to give to family members but the real gifts were the ones with much larger price tags as seen through other eyes.

Austin made his only girl cousin (Ms. Julia - the princess - my brother Kelly's daughter) an invitation to a tea party. She just beamed from ear to ear as he read it to her. Watching the two of them sipping out of the those cups with Austin listening to her every word and then answering her back in his funny British accent - Hallmark could not have written it any better. He also played football with his brother Travis, Uncle Kelly, Jordan (Kelly & Michelle's oldest son), and Joshua (their middle child). Austin is not a football player. He gave it up in 7th grade due to health issues at the time. They laughed... more than a ball was caught.

We spent much time playing board and card games with my brother's family. As a part of tradition - they spend Christmas Eve at the place we currently live - my mother's house. We were happy to serve the whole household for the time they were here. Cooking and sharing stories of days gone by when Daddy was with us too. We laughed and many tickles were given. By the time my brother and his family left - he said to me, "You know - you guys spent next to nothing and yet we could not have had a better Christmas!" Music to our hearts.

My in-laws came the next Sunday. We spent time together eating and sharing the latest in our lives. We hung out and laughed and really had such a sweet time being together even though it wasn't for long. My mother-in-law had been in the hospital just days before. Praise the Lord she didn't have the massive heart attack the doctors were expecting her to. What a gift for sure! Little did we know what else was to come...

It seems the extended Gravley family were being more touched by our lives than we had even come close to realizing. Needless to say - gifts were given to us that still make our eyes fill with tears at the thought of. Gifts that could have only been orchestrated by One. Our gifts to them apparently was/is how we live life's moments. Still leaves me dumbfounded frankly.

Christmas is continuing on. It is alive tonight just as much as on December 24th or 25th. For the Christmas I am talking about is not one that world says you must go in debt to obtain or that disappears as fast as those cookies on a plate for Santa that parents or grandparents eat.

As always, dear reader, you've been prayed for. And yes, they were dangerous!

When The Going Gets Tough!

Today is one of my brother-in-laws 40th birthday. We are unable to be with him to celebrate in person. He and his wife live in Florida. We, of course, are in Texas. I write about him as a way to celebrate his birth and life's moments! To share a bit of his story with each of you.

I would like nothing more than for this day to be filled with laughter and a grand time for him! However, I know that may not be quite the case as it was in previous years. For while today is his birthday - on January 29th, he will be marking an anniversary that has changed his life and those who are connected to him. I share this from the viewpoint as a sister-in-law, friend, but more importantly sister-in-Christ.

It was a foggy Saturday morning as I was traveling to another town for a retreat in which I was being a guest speaker. On the way there - as I drove through the fog on the long stretch of a highway.... I knew I was going to be receiving word about something while speaking/teaching. I knew as clearly as I sit here writing this now. I arrived and shortly after eating breakfast - the group gathered and I began...

Then.......

My hubby started texting me. We have a rule - no texting in such situations unless an emergency. I knew it was bad news and yet was still good news too. As I read the text aloud to the group - I was sharing news that this brother-in-law had been in a bomb blast in Iraq. It was his 4th tour there. We were uncertain of his condition - just knew that he had been directly hit.

I shared with the women that knowingly him as I do - he would not want me to stop what I had come there for. I prayed one of the most dangerous prayers I've prayed to date and continued on. To say that the Spirit was moving and everso present would be a gross understatement! I was teaching/speaking on "Overcoming Depression: Time for the church to be the church and to stop sweeping it under the rug!" It is a subject we know all too well due to my mother and some of what brought us to G-town in 2005. It remains one of the most intense teaching/speaking/listening times to date!

My brother-in-law was greatly injured in the bomb blast. He and his wife were stationed in Japan at the time and have just recently moved back to the states. He is looking at having another surgery on his arm soon. He lost part of the bone in it. They are going to try replacing what was lost with a cadaver bone. There is no guarantee that it will work. He knows this and yet it is not stopping him from living life's moments although they are different than he ever dreamed they would be now.

He also lost hearing in one of his ears as a result of one of his eardrums brusting. He is looking at another surgery for that as well that may or may not help him to get the hearing back in that ear. And yet, it is not stopping him from living life's moments although they are different than he ever dreamed they would be now at the ripe old age of 40.

So, today... as I sit here in Texas thinking about that brother-in-law of mine in Florida - I remain thankful that he is still alive and for how God is working in his life. I am thankful for a man whom is willing to lay down his life for what he believes in. And to continue on with his life as well. The same thing is said and felt for his wife too.

I ask that if you're praying person... if you would please add him and his wife to yours? They have such a long road to go in more ways than one.

When the going gets tough - what do you do? Whom do you turn to? Trust in?

What about when times are smooth as silk pie?

And as always, dear reader, you've been prayed for!

(Yes, there is far more to this story... stay tuned)

Beyond Rich!

Her name is Marie. Today I had the opportunity to spend 15 minutes or so with her as she poured out her pain. As I wrapped my arms around her, hugged her tight, and prayed with her - I could feel the heavy burdens, regret, shame, and unforgiveness she was holding inside release if only for a few moments.

Marie lost her grown daughter and dad all within a 3 month time period 3 years ago. She explained that she was so busy working for a living that she wasn't living life's moments as she could have been. When her daughter needed her - she was too busy working. Since her daughter has been gone - she is finding it hard to work more than a part-time job. The pain from her dad passing is almost getting the best of her. To say she is carrying a load in her heart and on her shoulders would be an understatement.

Marie asked me how I was so soft & tender. I didn't understand her question at first. Then as I looked her in the eyes - I saw the tears starting to flow down - I knew exactly what she needed to hear from me. So I shared about knowing the depths of sorrow, heartache, loss, and pain. Her eyes stayed locked on mine as I continue to rub my hands on her arms.

As I told her about having been paralyzed, her eyes grew wide. When I shared about as far as the doctors are concerned I should be in Heaven already or at least paralyzed from the neck down and hooked up to an oxygen machine - she started to smile a bit. As I shared about being healed completely physically, her smile could have lit up a whole room. She said over and over, "You do know!" And yet….

It was when I shared about having been my dad's primary caregiver until he went to Heaven that she said, "You know Camey - that's it right there! That's why you're so soft & tender! I won't forget you! I will never forget you! May God bless you beyond whatever you could ever imagine?" Then, with another hug - Marie was gone.

We are both beyond rich because of our encounter today.

And with that, I'm off for Thursday night date night with my three sons!