Real Identity.

It is without question amusing to me how He speaks to me at times... Today has been one of those days....

At 10:00 a.m., Austin's mom dropped him off for his second day of work at the little store in the highly secure gated community. He had such a huge smile on his face. Austin's mom was beyond proud and yet... there is that whole... "my little boy is growing up." OH, wait... He is 6 foot 2 already.... lol Growing and stretching.... Wanting to protect and yet knowing that he must have his wings to fly.

Parker, Travis and I went to get the car I drive, but, is not ours, inspected. While we were sitting there, I couldn't help but think back to the days of when all I had to do was take the vehicle I was driving to the dealership and drive away when they were finished. I answered to "Ms. B" then... and today it was "Mrs. B's" car that was getting inspected. When I was Ms. B., I had brand new cars every six months to a year through my daddy's job. The slightest noise and the car was at the dealership and I was treated like "Mr. B's" daughter. This car is the same age as Travis and is the last purchase my daddy made. We tried to talk him out of buying it but there was no getting through to him. He was convinced the seven of us needed that third vehicle. James, the man who inspected the car today... kept coming back to me and saying, "This is wrong. It won't pass unless it's fixed." Finally, after all the others who had been in the waiting room with us had come and gone... we heard, "Ms. B.? The car is ready. It passed." Parker and Travis both said, "Thank you, God." out loud. I couldn't help but be thankful for that car and what it still is teaching us..... While I am not Ms. B. legally and haven't been for 18 years now.... the lessons I learned while being her remain to this day. I'd rather have an old car to drive and appreciate it's real value than to have a new one and not. Funny enough? The other vehicle I drive is only a year old. It is needing to be inspected too. It is also Mrs. B's. Yet... it will be the widow's daughter who takes care of getting it inspected. Vehicles I have the privilege of driving through my Father's work no doubt......

The boys and I went to Wal-Mart to shop. I sent them off to the section of the store they like to visit the most. As per usual, I ran into someone we know. We started noticing the boys walking past us but not seeing us. They hadn't stayed where they were supposed to. They had gotten tired of waiting for me and decided to try and find me. We said goodbye and I set off to help the boys learn a lesson. They finally found me in the game section where I said I would meet them. Parents... and the lessons that come with having children.

Funny enough? The someone I ran into caused the boys and several others to do a double take as we continued to shop. I've been mistaken for her numerous times since living here. While we are not twins/sisters... there is no doubt we are cousins. Our dads were brothers. Hers the oldest... mine the baby.... Mine passed away first even though they had/have the same illness... We're closer now than we ever have been before. So much more in common.... including our hair! We've both have always been "known" for it..... lol

The lawn pastor returned while I was writing this. He had finished for the day. Funny how it doesn't take as long to tend to lawns when the individuals are not home. Hmmmmm Where is home again? Hubby wants to go on a date with his wife. It will of course, all depend, upon how Austin's day at work went when he gets off....

Real identity... While all are these are some of who I am.... Who Christ is in and to me is even more so vital to my identity. Again.... like breathing...

Who holds your real identity?

Travis... On His Hair....

"It feels like I'm wearing a rug."

Specific Prayer Requests

1) Anne - mother of Angie Hillman (Os Hillman's wife). She lives in England and is having major health issues.

2) Annie - has the flu and is needing to have major dental work soon.

3) Mae - is starting water therapy today. We are now keeping record of her weight every other day.

4) Church planting/planters.....

5) Pastorless churches.....

6) Whatever is going on in your own life this moment.

On Prayer......

As I was driving Austin to school this morning.... we were talking about individuals in our lives who we are praying for.. well, not all were mentioned for in ministry at times that is not possible or permitted.... but that's not the point..

As I have stated numerous times before and will continue to until my last breath is breathed.... prayer is that to me.... it is life sustaining and life giving... it is a connection with Him like no other can be.. And I mean - no other can possibly be.

For it when listening and talking with Him that I am changed the most.... it is in letting go of my plans... thoughts... assumptions... whatever the case may be... It is in taking others before Him and laying them down at His feet and truly meaning.... whatever His will be done....

I know for some, praying, is not some thing that is easy to think of or to do.... Yet, I would give my life for those to experience for themselves the ultimate benefits of spending time with Him in prayer. Oh, wait.... Jesus already gave His life so that we have direct communication with/to Him...

If Jesus prayed while here on earth.... and the Bible says He did.... He must have thought it ultimately beneficial.... Shouldn't we then too?

On prayer...... let Him speak to you... and may you also speak to Him on behalf of others.

You've been prayed for today......

Valleys. Mountain Tops. In-Between.

This morning as I sit here reflecting over the many many conversations during the day and night.... the hugs, tears, deep pain, being fine, smiles, and dancing reminds me greatly of valleys, mountain tops, and oh yes... even the in-between..

I don't normally actually eat lunch with Ms. Mae. I fix her lunch and sit with her while she eats. Yesterday, it was clear to me that this bothered her tremendously. At first I wasn't sure why.... then, it struck me. Ms. Mae does not see me as just her servant.. she sees me as a dear friend. So, I didn't fix lunch for one.. It was for two.... the look on her face was priceless and she asked me if I'd pray for "our" lunch instead of her automatically praying like she has done. Love her like Jesus.

There's another woman who comes and stays with Ms. Mae in-between the time that I leave and when one of the immediate family comes. She came earlier than normal and I couldn't figure out why at first. Then, it struck me.... She is craving conversations with other women and not just her husband. We got to talking about the water therapy that Ms. Mae is starting today. I shared how much I had benefited from this type of therapy. The woman did not know that part of my story. The smile on her face was priceless along with the changes in her face due to a stroke she had years ago as I shared of how the Great Physician healed my body. Love her like Jesus.

Years ago we had the privilege of meeting a man and a woman at their home. We had been invited with my folks and my brother's family to share the 4th of July with them and numerous others. It became a tradition our whole family had until this year. Our friendship is deeper though the last couple of years than just the once a year visit. This man and woman are in such deep pain. Her mother's health is failing quickly. As I was in my Wednesday place in the foyer... I shared with him how our family could understand what they were going through... and he knew that all too well.... The look on his face.. the hugs..... Love him like Jesus.

The precious girl that now has a "spiritual birthday" was dancing in the foyer as she talked with her mom and my self. She was beyond excited about learning Bible verses and all the new friends she is making.... even the "adult friends"...... The look on her was priceless.. her dancing in the foyer... even more so.... Her life is not an easy one away from church... Love her like Jesus.

For those who were "fine".... there is always the question of, "Are they really?" And yet..... there are moments in life were fine does adequately describe where one is at. It can mean good.... it can mean not so much so..... it can mean a sort of limbo between bad, good or ugly. Love them like Jesus.

Who do you need to love like Jesus today? this very moment?

Where are you? in the valley, on the mountain top.... or in-between?

Jesus loves you wherever you are this very moment.

Listening As The Sun Rises

As the sun rises, there is a voice to be sought
It is found through open lines straight from your heart
Inside the pages of His Word breathes true life

Whether the sun be behind a cloud or in plain sight
If the wind blows hot or cold - perhaps sits still
Listening as the sun rises with hands up in the air

A JOB! A JOB!

Austin starts his job at the highly secure gated community's little store this Friday. Thank you to those who prayed for him and/or were willing to be references for him.

If you live in the highly secure gated community, make sure you look for him when shopping there. He's looking forward to the pleasure of seeing familiar faces and being of service to you.

Signed,
A grateful mother

Thoughts for Today..

The last few days have been so incredibly busy... This morning came and I found myself not wanting to leave the house. Hubby and I walk through our day together as a part of our morning time with each other. He prayed not only for me but for the women who were going to be sitting in the class with me today. He also said that he knew something really powerful was going to happen because it so often does when I am at my weakest.

This morning started the parenting Bible study in which I am facilitating this semester. There were 3 women signed up officially... That's not how many ended up being there... It was tripled with the word that 6 more are due next week. Since I knew ahead of time that two of the women who had originally signed up weren't going to be there... I didn't want them to be behind next week especially knowing their stories.. I asked the Lord for guidance on what to do today.... for and with those who would be there... The answer came and I went with it...

When class was over.... it was apparent, yet again. When I let the chains fall away... and really let Him be in total control... there is such incredible freedom. I am no expert as a parent. I have made my share of mistakes. I have asked for forgiveness from not only God but my hubby and whatever child(ren) involved.

I started the class off by sharing from my heart and had everyone go around the table and share from theirs, and the room was filled with His presence. I could have started with the DVD right when the clock ticked 9:30 a.m.

My thoughts today..... He always knows better than I do. And sometimes He uses my hubby's encouragement and prayers to help guide me.

I believe, we, as Christ-followers, are called to be of encouragement to one another.

Be of encouragement to someone today. It just might make them want to leave the house instead of going back to bed and hiding under the covers.

May He truly receive all the praise and glory!

On Growing Up...

This morning Austin and I had another bonding experience. Since he officially turned 16 yesterday, it is time for the all important step of getting his first real paying job. He called or email the individuals that he hoped would be references for him. Upon their agreement, he filled out his first application. (real mommy moment there... shhh don't tell him I said that. lol)

He proceeded to get himself ready and looked rather sharp. (no, I'm not the slightest bit biased. just speaking the truth according to his mom.) We drove up to the place in which he hopes to work. Since he does not have his license or permit - I got to drive. Sorry, Austin. Good thing I have had a change of plans today work wise... Oh wait, being Austin's chauffeur still is one of my jobs at the moment.

We walked in and spoke to the various managers that were present. Austin will be meeting with the store manager again on Monday to see what they can work out. It is okay for a parent to go with their *cough* child... when asking for and/or turning in their first application. After that... all bets are off unless otherwise directed.

Overall, it was a very positive experience. I'm sure one of these days, Austin, will enjoy sharing how he handled his mommy's growing up days.

Thanks, Austin, for holding my hand. It's easy to look up to you... Oh, wait. I have to any way given your height. Can someone explain to me again HOW that happens?

Prayer Requests

1. Mo...... and her little boy especially...

2. Ms. Mae is having x-rays made this morning. Appears she may have a fracture..... Given her age... that can be bad... She is such an amazing woman. I am privileged to be one of her care givers... The 10th marks the year anniversary of her 88 year-old husband's passing...

3. Ms. Mae's family.... What a dear and precious family.... they are going through so much...

4. "No-name"...... Issues within the leadership of the church he is pastor of.

5. "No-name"...... That he would let go of past hurts and get out there.

A Son and Mom Moment....

On Tuesday afternoon, Austin and his mom went to the foot doctor. We were sitting in the waiting room having a good time talking. We are incredibly blessed with a great relationship with each other... But Tuesday afternoon..... well......

Suddenly... this mom noticed one of the women behind the window checking out her son... I mean totally checking him out... It will remain one of the weirdest moments that he and I have ever shared. Shared? Yes... you see I pointed out to him that she was checking him out. I also later on pointed out to her that he was only 15..... Oh.... I can be such a mommy.....

Yet, it is in openly talking about such things with Austin that makes us closer....... that truly provides the jumping board for real in-depth conversations. Now, I know that some might say that I should have never pointed that out to him. But had I not... we would not be even closer now... this moment... I'd rather be a fool any day than to not have open lines of communication with him.

I have his permission to share this with you. He hopes it will help other parents want to talk with their child(ren)... especially if they are a teenager. He also hopes that it will help teens want to spend time with their parents... You never know what real benefit will come from it..

Oh.... Austin is 16 today! There are times when he teaches me more than I ever could him.

Today! ATTENTION!

Today is the day. I officially put back on the bacon hat on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I will be gone from 8:00 a.m. to 4:45 p.m.

Have you ever tried bacon cooked in the oven? Yummmmmmy. Hubby cooks it that way. lol

ATTENTION: Those who are listed as contributors here... please feel free to post! If you're not listed but would like to.... send me an email at cameybelieves@charter.net

You've been prayed for today...... God is good ALL the time!

Pool. Thunder. Teacher. Her.

The younger boys and I went to the highly secure gated community club pool for one last time this afternoon. After today.... the pool is officially closed for the summer. This summer has definitely been different as far as the pool goes. Why?

Thunder..... Yep. We had only been there a short time AGAIN today... when THAT all too familiar sound was heard not only by yours truly here but by Ben - the main lifeguard. "EVERYBODY OUT OF THE WATER." Good bye pool for the summer. Thank you to all the lifeguards who came every time the pool was open even though it seemed to have been closed more so than not due to the thunder/rain. That is Texas weather for you.. especially THIS summer.

I ran into the little store and walked down to where the bread is kept. There was this woman standing there. She looked at me. I knew immediately who she was but since today is a holiday and school just started... I wasn't going to say a word to her. She turned around and then said, "I know I know your face. I just can't remember which child you belong to." When I told her I was Park's mother.... she began to smile. (Note: THAT'S always a good thing as a parent!) She talked about what an old soul he is... Funny... She has a good handle on him already. We had a good but short conversation... Parker just smiled when I told him who was in the store.... He and Trav were sitting in the van eating lemon chills. They had been on sale in the teen room as we were leaving the pool... Ahhhhh the end of summer.

When walking up to the check out line... I saw her behind the cash register. I've posted about her before. She is a teen, pregnant and yes... of course... single. I asked her how she was doing and we talked for just a bit. She remembered me from the couple of times before. She looks so tired. I know some of it is the strain of standing on her feet all those hours. Yet..... well... that's enough said for now... Please continue to pray her. For while she knows who I am and about the group..... there is that fear of judgement... That's not something she has to worry about with me or the others in the group. That's not my job or theirs...... Please continue to pray for her. Our arms truly are open wide.... His are far wider than ours.

His love is deep. His love is high. His love is long...... His love is wide..... What about yours?

Grateful Offerings.

This morning as I sit here reflecting back over the weekend... and especially Sunday.... Grateful is how I am found the most.

When walking out to the vehicle I drive on Sunday mornings... one of our sound/video guys was with me, Travman and Park. He said to me, "While I was waiting for the service to start, I was looking at everyone in the sanctuary. I looked where you normally sit and found Park immediately. I looked beside him and there you were. WOW! Can you really see all your gray hair from the sound booth." We laughed.... and I was beyond grateful. Why? It was Austin. He has started taking a class called Tech Pro that is taught by our dear Andrew.. Andrew has Austin working with him during the first two services now on Sunday mornings. He will not allow Austin to work the third service because that is when the students have Bible study classes. Andrew is truly being of encouragement to Austin in learning how to use sound/audio in ministry.... and especially in worship. Way too cool.. Thank You, Lord, for Andrew... and yes.. for Austin. Austin turns 16 on Thursday....

The four of us were talking about the morning and laughing while driving to meet some sweet friends for lunch. (Oh... the lawn pastor works some on Sunday afternoons/evenings as needed. It all depends upon whom is requesting him and their schedule as well. So.. he was not with us. Thank You, Lord, for the lawn pastor and the lawns/gardens/lives he tends to.) As I was walking through the buffet line, my face must have been tellin on me... Next thing I know.. the manager, who is a buddy of mine, said to me, "What do you want that you're not seeing?" I told him what I wanted and he brought them out to me... Three pieces of the most delicious Canadian bacon and black olive pizza I've ever eaten. When he was standing there at my table... he said to me, "If your group needs any thing at all, you let me know personally. It is always a pleasure serving anyone you're associated with." Please keep in mind here that I eat with sinners and saints alike. If you know what I mean.... And he knows that.. if they are needing extra food to take home... he always takes care of them. Thank You, Lord, for his servant's heart as well.

The sweet friends we were eating with are such tremendous blessings to our family. We have much in common and the conversations flow with ease. The head of the family is a widow... then there's her two daughters, one married and with kids.. the other single and has worked with my brother for years. Their living arrangement is similar in some ways to our own. The one daughter who is married has two teenage sons that the five of us have a blast hanging out with. Oh... One is Michael S. He shared a testimony here on the blog not long ago. Every single member of that family we've met thus far... it is like we've known them forever and a day.... Thank You, Lord, for the gift of this family. For each individual that is a part of it.....

Later in the afternoon, the phone rang.. It was one of Park's buddies... He had been gone most of the summer and now that school is back in session, he is able to hang again. While it was not originally in my plans for the afternoon/evening... saying no was not in this mom's vocabulary at that moment in time. His mom brought him over... he and Park ran inside and took up where they had left off the last time he was here... I talked with his mom for a while in the driveway.. I won't share the majority of the details... except to say this.. I'm beyond grateful for the house we live in. It is not ours as was the house before... but in so many more ways.. it is the best house we've lived in. Park and G. hung out a few hours, and then Park's dad and mom took G. to find his mom. The highly secure gated community has a celebration at the main clubhouse every holiday... that is where she was found.. G. said he enjoyed riding around with us and talking. I had not called his mom before we left the house... If I had... we would not have had to drive around looking for her. I'm thankful I didn't call first. G.'s face spoke volumes when he and I walked to where his mom was. Thank You, Lord, for plans being changed.. For G. and his family..... for friendships that come with being a child and having children.

After we had found his mom... hubby and I went to the little store... Hoover's girlfriend decided to stay at home... therefore, the woman of the house was expecting dinner. Nothing fancy mind you... We came home and he immediately started cooking everyone in the house dinner. We all sat down together and ate... the six of us... He cooked dinner? Yes, he and I take turns cooking dinner. Thank You, Lord, for a son-in-law/hubby/dad who considers it a blessing to cook for his family. I couldn't ask for him to love You more.... or us....

This morning... these are just a few of my grateful offerings..

What are you grateful for? Stop... and give an offering... of praise and thanksgiving.

Shaken. Stirred. Poured.

Yesterday was the service for Josh Fant at our church. According to Wiley's Funeral Home... it was the biggest funeral Granbury has ever seen. The same, obviously, is true for our SP and our church..... There was standing room only even in our foyer.... Count probably around 1,000 individuals or so... The amount of tears even higher... Weeping.. sobbing... Please continue to pray for his family, friends, our town and our church... Shaken.....

The last couple of days, I've been stirred.... I had been fighting to stay away from a certain type of part time job. As some of you know..... I am a part of the bringing home the bacon for our family. While I am a full-time so many other things... I too work outside our home. It is a conviction of ours that whatever I do outside the home must go hand-in-hand with being a pastor's wife and women's minister. The meeting on Friday was about being a caregiver for a precious woman in her 80's... I start on Wednesday. This particular job is only for the month of September.. Yet, upon calling the family to let them know I would take the job.... a real peace came over not only myself.. but my hubby and my mother about it... While it was okay for me to have some time away from giving someone medicine... bathing them... whatever the case may be... that time is over. This job works well with all the many other hats I wear. I consider it a privilege, honor, blessing and a responsibility to not be taken lightly.... I have no doubt that this amazing woman and her family are just the first to come my way this time... this season....

Today our SP, John, preached on waiting.... I couldn't help but smile and laugh.. That's okay to do... Seriously.. it is.. The summer months I was requested to let go of the bacon hat. I did what was asked.... our schedules were crazy enough on their own... The summer was the waiting. Now it is time to pour out what has continuously been poured inside of me... I am full...

Yesterday at the service for Josh... when I was ministering in the foyer... in walked this woman. We immediately walked over to each other and hugged. She had not forgotten me or our family.... definitely not my daddy.... She works at the hospital he was in... we spent so much time together. She said she had wondered if she would see me at the church... When I told her that daddy had indeed passed on.. she wasn't surprised and said she had continue to pray for our family. She also shared what a difference we had made in her life during that time.... That she had really felt cared for.....

It just goes to show.... One can be a caregiver no matter the circumstances... What truly makes the difference though in the care given is who truly is giving it and where it comes from. My help.... my strength... my HOPE comes from HIM alone.

Where does your help, strength and hope come from?

How long has it been since you've been shaken, stirred and poured....... out?

Josh Fant Memorial Fund

The fund is set up through the First National Bank of Granbury. The following sites have placed donation cans at their locations as well to help this family:

1 Valero (JJ's Fastop at the light by Wal Mart)
1 Wings and more
1 Mr Sparkle
1 Firehouse Café
1 Movie Gallery
2 Mi Familia
2 Montana’s
1 Cotton Patch
1 Grumps
1 Mobil across from Cari's
1 Jovi Wireless
1 Chicken Express

A Meeting.......

Sitting here, right now... this moment... I am beyond thankful. This afternoon hubby and I had a meeting with a family. The circumstances that brought us together are not necessary for me to speak of yet..... What I can say is this......

The Lord works in mysterious ways... I would rather be guilty of seeming like a fool than to not listen to His voice any day....

Lord? What can I do for you?

How long has it been since you've asked the same? Are you willing to look like a fool?

On Grief.....

There are so many hurting right now over the death of Josh Fant. While many find comfort that Josh was a Christian..... naturally that does not completely take away the grief that is felt from the loss of someone special to them.

My sista in Christ, Kat (reGen) left a comment on the last post. I hope you will take the time to read it. Thank you dear woman!

There are stories that tell of grief over losing someone special... My personal favorite story is that of the women who came to Jesus' tomb after he had been beaten and died upon the cross. WHAT? Seriously? Seriously. Why? Had it not been for his death, burial, and then resurrection.... what point would there have been to life? We would have been separated from God forever.... eternity. Not just for a moment.......

The women were the first to find out that Jesus was not there.... HOPE was alive and well.... They came to his tomb expecting to find Him... He was not there.... Death had been conquered! He was truly alive!

In my own personal story of grief.... The fact that Jesus died for me (and you) means more to me than any one else dying... Do I know the pain of losing someone near and dear to me? Yes, my daddy. Do I know the agony of watching him have highs and lows with numerous nights and days spent in the hospital? Yes, I do... Yet, had Jesus not died.... Honestly? It would matter not about my own daddy.

I know you're reading my words and thinking to yourself perhaps.... "Man! Is she ever in denial about her daddy dying." Nah.... My daddy was just a man. An amazing man but still just a man. Jesus is Jesus.... He is/was God. And nothing or no one can compare.

There is grief that comes with the death of someone special. Grief can be overwhelming... no doubt... But it is what we learn from our grief and how we live on in and through grief that counts so much..... Grief can make one bitter... Don't let it keep you that way.....

God is there for you...... And that my friend is the best source of help any one could ever have or receive.

There Is A Time....

The times are as follows:

Visitation... Wiley's, Friday night from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m.

Service....... Saturday at 2:00 p.m. at our church building.

Fant Family Fund:

Friends of the Fant Family have set up a fund to help pay funeral and hospital bills. Please consider donating to this fund. More information coming...

Thoughts:

Last night as we gathered at our church building at 10:00 p.m. - you could cut the grief with a knife and never come out with the sounds like what was heard. From txt msgs to cell phone calls, within a hour, there were over hundreds there.. This is one thing our community and town gets right. We gather together... as one body.

And Shelley and Ryan? Thank you for loving God and loving people... especially students. And pointing them to Jesus.... Josh was a Christian.

Keep praying! Thank you.

Josh Fant. 08-29-07.

Please continue to lift up the family and friends of Josh Fant.

He passed on this evening. His fight is over.

Thank you.